There were many excerpts written in the business plan, however, I chose 2 main excerpts (Opportunity from the Opportunity & Innovation and Industry Description Outlook from the Market Analysis). These excerpts were well written with clear and persuasive details and good application of critical thinking, however, sometimes they lacked evidence and paragraphs were longer which led to the content not being succinct. Some evidence was also not paraphrased properly and a few things were left unaddressed which didn’t help the readers understand the content very well.
Thus, after gaining more feedback and looking at other sample business plans I realized how to improve upon these excerpts and set goals for myself. For the opportunity section, I shortened my paragraphs into 3-4 mini paragraphs to make it easier for the audience to keep track of the content. I also made sure I included relevant evidence that was paraphrased and cited properly to avoid any plagiarism and I ensure every part of the problem was addressed to make it clear to the audience. I also used relevant background information on the industry analysis for communication strategies in this context.
Moreover, for the industry description and outlook, I removed any type of repetition and included more specific details for the readers to understand the industries through storytelling. I also backed it up with evidence to make sure my claims were authentic, and through this, I was able to make my excerpts more succinct and clear to the listeners as they were able to understand more details in a simple manner, backed by evidence.
The Market Analysis (Industry Description and Outlook) Excerpt
The Opportunity and Innovation (Opportunity) Excerpt
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